You know what? If an incredibly unattractive woman can make a billion dollars doing exactly this, I'm going for the gold. I don't understand the public's infatuation with this whole blogosphere deal, but in the interest of peeling my poor, pathetic eyes away from facebook stalking, I've chosen to succumb to the madness. Who knows? Maybe I can be the next Rosie O'Donnell of blogs? r u serious? Gotta hand it to Rosie O, she is one bad ass mother f-er who don't take no shit from no one! (kudos to Disney's Cool Runnings circa 1998) I can't believe I just cited in my blog.
So really, whats the deal with these things? How am I supposed to attract viewers? Maybe there is some sort of advertising I can do. Back to Rosie O, I think I want to be even more than her. I want to be the Oprah of the Web, the head honcho, if you will. By the end of this, there's going to be "Joe" magazine. I can see it now. I will be on every cover, of course, with my celebrity guest sitting far off in the background gazing at me in admiration. It will be great. There will be recipes....horoscopes(you know people love that shit)...music selections...and tips to brighten your life one step at a time.
OK- back to reality. Truth is that I am relatively busy 22 year old male. I currently attend Nursing School, where I manage to maintain a GPA that most people would kill for. That statement is in no way meant as a feeble attempt for you to be impressed with my brain. The thing is I just 'get' it. I also work 2 jobs and play soccer as a source of recreation. I have recently come out to a select few people. HOWEVER, last night I kissed a girl.....and I liked it? If you think THAT is messed up, let it be known that I am going to my first Gay bar on Wednesday night. Yes, you read right. If you are thinking that it seems as though I am an incredibly poor decision maker who keeps a busy schedule so that decision making is based entirely around all of my fun tasks, you. are. right. I like to think of my mind as somewhat of a distorted reality. No, I do not hear voices, but there is certainly a lot more noise up there than most doctors recommend(spell check, need you.). I plan for this little blog to be almost my brain in writing. Someone once told me its good to let it all out: and you've called out the thunder, so get ready for the boom.
For kicks, lets start our little relationship off with some homework. No need to fret, children, as our assignment will not be graded. Your first assignment as a follower of the newest and best blog in the free world is tomorrow, between the hours 11am and 5pm, make someones day. I don't care how you do it, but make someone feel good. Hold a door, give up a seat on the train, smile, ask about their weekend, or compliment someones hideous shirt that they should've thrown out when the New Kids On the Block broke up (the first time). But do it, and do it well. Report back here by 11pm EST tomorrow with stories of success. Goodnight, kind souls, and remember: there's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day.
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